


When Bitty Comes to Visit

by AnnieMiku



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: AU, Agoraphobia, Alternate Universe, Gay, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-22 20:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10704825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieMiku/pseuds/AnnieMiku
Summary: Jack is Agorophobic after his overdose and refuses to leave home. When Eric wants to take a gap year he is forced to take a working intership. He ends up at the Zimmerman's door.ABANDONED





	1. Jack Stays Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so I don't know how good it will be. I will probably update at least ones a week so if you like it id love some feed back for future chapters. I hate my out of cannon characters so just so you know that the ones in this fic probably will only be in this chapter for the most part. ENJOY!

Jack had had severe agoraphobia from the time he left the hospital. The overdose had been hard but when he had tried to get some fresh air a few weeks after he froze, not even able to get past the threshold of the doorway. He had gotten better in the years and now walked around his parents land more freely but he was like a fenced in dog. A clear invisible permitter he had to stay in. 

Thank goodness his parents had patience with jack. They were reasonable though and after a year of loafing about called a therapist who made home visits. Farah was something else to say the least. She was always in giving jack homework exercises he blatantly ignored for 3 years. But when he saw the lake was freezing over when he was 20 he had in inch to skate and called Farah. He had mapped out his fence by the time he was 21. That was when his parents decided to enroll him into online collage.

Collage was fine enough but sometimes taxing making him somewhat repressed. His parents had noticed but chalked it up to school stress. That only lasted so long though. Eventually the Zimmermans realized he needed outside interaction. So Alicia called her rock and began to vent. 

Mel had been friends with Alicia since college days but, when Alicia left, Mel stayed as a guidance counselor and scheduler. Most of the time she had no idea what she was doing except entering names into excel but she loved Samwell so it didn't really matter what she was doing as long as she was there. 

Mel was on the phone when Alicia called. It was a student who was reconsidering his enrollment which was unusual to Mel. 

“I just don’t think I’m ready, ma'am” he said with a draw. 

“Well let me look up your file and see what I can do. Name?”

“Eric Bittle”

\---

Eric was scared to death of leaving home. He hated Georgia but the prospect of leaving seemed so much worse to him. But it wasn’t really that at all. What he wanted was to do something before plunging back into school. He knew college was hard and wasn’t ready for a new team. A team with checking. Checking. 

His mother was pleased as punch. Hugging him and kissing him longing for him to stay forever and help her bake. But Coach had had a less enthusiastic reaction. But, with a little nagging, whining and praying he and his mother had gained Eric a gap year. So he called Samwell and they had set up a call appointment for the next week to see what they could do about his scholarship.

\---

“It looks like the only option for someone with your type of scholarship is a work experience internship. Do you know what major you want to study?”

“Uh no not really” Eric squeaked.

Mel’s heart melted at the despair in his voice. The poor kid was so scared and definitely “not ready”. She wished she could wrap him in a hug over the phone. She was going to get him something good, she just had too. She refused to just stick him with the work study cafeteria workers.

“I guess that means a internship assignment” she said sifting through her files. “Unless you can find something close to the school that’s not too… controversial.”

“Controversial?”

“If you choose to look on your own you need to find something the head counselor will approve which is not very likely in my opinion.” she said with a sad sigh.

“I guess my only choice is random assignment then” Eric looked to the floor. Maybe he should just suck it up. This was way more complicated than he would of hoped.

“You know what, no. Nope.”

His head lifted “What?’

“You seem too sweet for kitchen duty” pasion leaking out from her voice. “I've worked here years that’s what they’ll say to give you unless I pick first”

“Then what should I do?” he said, heart sinking again. “Suck it up?”

“Honey no. I guess i’ll just pick first” she said with a chuckle. “Don’t you worry Eric i’ll get you something good”

They exchanged emails and Mel gave him instructions on how to set up his official Samewell email. She promised she’d be in touch and within two weeks Eric got his assignment. And damn was it better than kitchen duty.

\--- 

“I won’t do it” Jack said firmly. “No way. No”

“Honey be reasonable. You’ve been shut up in this house for years and you need to be with people your own age” This was going so much worse than Alicia had hoped.

“I have you guys I’m fine!” Jack insisted. 

“Jack, you’re mother and I aren’t enough any more. We can’t give the 23 year old experience. Won’t it be nice to talk about young people things with people who understand them.” Bob hated this. He fucking hated talks. Especially with Jack who was way to set in his ways. 

“I hate young people things. Why would I want to talk about things I hate with someone I don’t know?” 

Alicia grimaced “That’s my point exactly! You’re growing up too fast. You need to live a little. Even if that’s in the confines of our home.” 

Jack was tired of this. They had been talking over and hour and had gotten no where. He knew his mom wasn’t going to drop it and so he really only had on choice. Give in.

“I’ll do one week. That’s it. And if I don’t like it then he’s out of here.”

“Great! I’ll text Mel. She’s already found someone perfect and I know you two will hit it off!” She began to text furiously and her smile was so wide it made Jack momentarily pleased. But, that faded into annoyance.

“You found someone before you even asked me.” She wasn’t listening

Bob laughed “Don’t worry, I made sure she didn’t set it up completely until we talked about it with you.”

This was about to be a disaster.


	2. Alicia is Excited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, another chapter. I know I said I might not update this much but I just couldn't help myself. Positive critisism is appreciated and enjoy this chapter.

When Eric got the email he was both thrilled and terrified at the same time. He was expecting to get to work in some office building grabbing coffee for fancy business people. But, this was completely different. The description of the job was very simple:

“Provide companionship to a young man with Agoraphobia”   
He wished it wouldn’t be so simple. He wished he knew what companionship entailed. If he new how he would be helping this boy he might be less unnerved. It seemed to him that the assignment was just to freeload off a rich family so their son wouldn’t be so friendless. The email didn’t even say the name of the kid just that me was around Eric’s age and was afraid to go outside. At least that was Eric’s understanding of the word “Agoraphobia”. It was such a strange concept to him

On one hand sometimes he wished he never had to go outside. When he was bullied or when his parents said something homophobic. He was afraid just to be in the world and would just curl up under his duvet. But other times he would die if he had to stay cramped up in his room for one more minute. He would want to feel the fresh air, no matter how humid and muggy it was in the southern heat. To go somewhere that was his place in the world. That was sometimes how he felt in a kitchen, pulling a pie out of the oven. Like he had a purpose and complete control. Like he had actually done something instead of cowering in the corner pretending he was okay.

This trip seemed like neither of these things. Not free in the world. Not like the comforts of home. It was totally alien to him and the lack of detail in the email didn’t help him feel any less scared. All the email really did was tell him that his flight and taxi fees were covered and flight instructions for the following week. 

He was leaving a few weeks before he would've without the internship, but that made sense. He should probably get used to his “work space” before he committed to a full school year. He wondered what it would be like in Quebec. Probably a lot colder than Georgia. Maybe he should go shopping

\---

Jack was nervous. More than nervous. It had been about 3 weeks since Jack’s mom had guilted him into agreeing to this stranger invading his space, but he still hadn’t go anymore used to the idea of this actually happening. And the kid was coming tomorrow. 

Eric. Eric Bittle. 

What kind of name even was that. Was he going to be all over the place, over excited and hyper. Or would he be more like Jack, reserved and quiet. Jack thought he would like a hermit much more than some talkative hot shot. He wished he knew more than:

“From Georgia, bakes and plays hockey”

But then again the kid probably didn’t know much about him either. He had asked his mother to not give out his name. He knew the kid would google him eventually but he prefered to be there to defend himself. The kid was most likely already judging the crap out of him with the label Agoraphobia so lazily stuck to him. This Eric must think he is a bonkers creep. Not that everyone else didn’t already. Not that anyone knew him to think he was a bonkers creep.

That’s when it clicked for jack to realise he did need this “assigned friend” around. That he was totally oblivious to the world. When he was younger he knew that he could make anyone remember his name. That if he worked hard at hockey he would deserve to not be lost in oblivion. But that hadn’t worked out.

He should really get to sleep. 

\---

Eric lifted his hand up to knock at the door when it was flung open by none other than Alicia Zimmerman. She was even more beautiful than in magazines and seemed to exuding happiness. Her smile was frankly infectious. 

He stuck out his hand and she grabbed it pulling him inside. The house was ginormous and fantastically decorated. Not at all like the southern interior he was used too. That was when he noticed the boy standing in the foyer. Next to none other than Bad Bob. It was the son. Shit what was his name again. All Eric remembered was that he hadn’t really made as much of himself as he was expected. And now he understood why. 

“Hi I’m Alicia Zimmerman and this is Bob!” she hardly had time to take a breath she was talking so fast “This is Jack and we will be taking care of you this year” she kept taking.

“Don’t make it sound like we’re harboring the boy honey” Bob chuckled. Jack scowled his frown not even coming close to the power of Alicia’s smile as she went on and on about something. 

Jack stuck out his hand robotically “I’m Jack”

Eric grabbed it smiling warmly “Eric, pleased to meet you” He tuned to the parents “Pleased to meet ya’ll ass well”

“Mel was right he is charming! So polite!” She took his bag before Eric could protest and threw it Bob’s way. “Jack go show him to his room! It’s going to be so fun having someone to bake with. You know I love to bake Eric. Mel said you were quite adamant about it. You may not know what to major in but at least you have a handy skill like that” She kept on chattering as Jack grabbed his sleeve and dragged Eric up the stairs. Eric glanced down at the hand and let himself be pulled

\---- 

When they hit the third floor they passed two rooms and then got to a doorway. There was a room to the right and Eric guessed it must be Jack’s. Jack opened the door.

“Here” Jack handed Eric’s bag to him. He must have grabbed it from Mr. Zimmerman without Eric noticing. He must of been too wrapped up with being grabbed by someone so undeniably handsome. He shouldn’t be think like that. Get a hold of yourself Eric.

“Oh, thank you” Eric took the bag, blushing for no apparent reason. “It was Jack right”

“Yeah. My mom can be overbearing at times so you didn’t hear, I guess. Don’t worry about it you probably won’t be here for long.” Jack nonchalantly spat with a glare. 

“Um okay I guess” Eric took his bag and looked around the comically large room. The back wall was covered it an almost wall length window facing a large forest preceded by a smallish lake and courtyard. Despite this luxury and the king size bed the rest of the room wasn’t so noteworthy. Yes, the furniture was elegant but with Alicia how could you expect it not to be.

Eric walked over to the nearest dresser and started unpacking clothes into drawers. He was doing this for a minute or so when he realized he was being watched. He turned and saw Jack leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, with the apparently permanent scowl. Jack was watching him. Eric tuned back to the drawer shuddered and closed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may not be going where you thought it would. Be prepared for a new twist on Jack and Bitty's relationship. Bwhahaha.


	3. Jack and Eric Have Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so slow. It took me a wile to get my creative juices flowing today. I promise this daily updating will eventually have to come to an end but enjoy it as it lasts. As allways positve criticism and comments are always appreciated. Enjoy!

The light came in the window and made the glow of Eric even stronger. Freckles dotted his skin and as he slept his face formed a pout Jack fround both worrying and endearing. The blankets were white and that made Eric look even more adorable. The bed was so large compared to him curled up in a little ball. It was truly beautiful.

Jack knew this was creepy but he couldn’t help himself. He was curious and what kind of boy left his door open when he slept, not to mention he was in a stranger's home. But none of this was an adequate excuse. Why had his mother let this angel into his house anyway? Sure his social skills were lacking, made even more apparent by his current sleep stalking, but would it really matter if he stayed inside all his life anyway. 

Eric stirred and Jack immediately panicked and began to flee the scene of the crime. It was then and there he decided to let this boy have at least a few weeks more than was agreed. This didn’t mean Jack was ready to let him stay for the whole school year or even the semester but it was good enough to stall his stubborn one week allowance. 

Jack headed down the stairs and realised it was his parents day off. That meant they would be sleeping in far beyond the sunrise he woke too. Maybe he would even get to spend time with Eric one on one. His heart skipped a beat at the very thought. I mean, how could he not be, at least minorly, attracted to the first person his age he had seen in years. And Eric was beautiful. Now that didn’t say anything about him personality wise and perhaps Eric would soon start to get under his skin, but it didn’t seem likely. From what Jack had observed he seemed to be the kind of pearson Jack could at least get along with. Then again his imagination had gone wild in the years since he started staying in and made quite the assumptions. 

In the kitchen now, he filled the kettle and waited for the water to heat. He hoped the whistle wouldn't wake anyone up. Even though Jack enjoyed early mornings and rigid agendas didn’t mean everyone did. Didn’t mean Eric did. Oh, why couldn’t he get this boy out of his head? It had been one day for god’s sake. Not even. They had barely spoken any words. 

The kettle whistled and he quickly took it off the stove. His thumb grazed the bottom and burnt a bit but he successfully transferred it to the vacant burner. He went to the cabinet and grabbed two mugs and 2 boxes of tea. Because of this anxiety he had to drink decaf. He let the tea steep for a minute and poured out the excess water from the kettle. Then came the hard part, bringing it to Bittle. 

He walked up the steps, spilling it a bit, but he managed to get it up to the third floor. When he got to Eric’s room he started to go to the nightside table but thought it better to set it on the table. The room was large and that was one of the reasons Jack hadn't picked it for himself. Not to mention that the wall wide window didn’t leave much privacy. He removed coasters from the center piece and lifted the mugs to put them under. When he set the second mug down it made a noise louder than intended and Eric stirred. 

\---

Eric was groggy when he woke up and saw the fresh sunlight shining in from the window. But he wasn’t so unaware that he noticed why he woke up in the first place. Eric wiped his eyes and sat up, turning towards the disturbance and noticing a Jack who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He flopped back down and groaned. 

“What time is it even?”

Jack unfroze and began to sit at the table. “It’s almost 7”

“Why in holy hell am I awake then?” Eric said. Then he realised that as a guest he should not be being this rude. He rolled over facing Jack, cocooned in comforters. “Not that there is anything particularly wrong with this time of day” Jack looked back at him stone faced.

“Well I guess if this is when you wake up I’ll have to get used to it” Eric bareilly noticed but Jack’s lips twitching, almost reaching a smile. 

“I made tea if you’re up for it” Jack’s tone was flat but somehow Eric could see the kindness in his eyes. If this boy had made tea for him the least he could do was drink it. 

“Well thank you. I’d love some! Let me just get dressed” Eric got out of bed and padded over to his newly packed dresser. He grabbed jeans and a sweater. The pullover was pine green and it wasn’t something Eric would usually have in his wardrobe but it seemed perfect for the occasion.

He turned to go to the miniscule bathroom and noticed Jack blushing furiously. Jesus Christ was this boy really all worked up about his sweats. Nah. Eric you need to remember not everyone is gay, stop assuming. 

When he emerged from the bathroom in his fresh clothing Jack was facing the opposite way towards the window. Eric joined him at the table and looked down at his tea. 

“What kind is this?” Eric asked. He hoped it would at least have some caffeine to wake him up at this insane hour. 

“Is there more than one kind?” Jack looked a bit dumbfounded but it faded back into scowl semi quickly (play it cool Jack).

Eric laughed and took a sip. “I’m guessing this is english breakfast” he paused “no cream or sugar either” 

Jack only stopped to wonder what kind of person would know so much about tea. 

 

“Looks like we’re going to have to go shopping then” Eric took another sip and then looking at Jack’s face realized his mistake. “Oh my goodness you will have to forgive me jack it’s the morning and it completely slipped my mind. Well that’s no excuse is it but I really am so sorry”

Jack stopped him a arm on his shoulder. He smiled awkwardly saying “It’s really okay Eric. I wish I could say this happens all the time but of course it doesn't” he looked around at nobody for effect and tried to increase the world's most awkward smile. 

Eric looked down at the hand and smiled, then laughed. He laughed and laughed. “Looks like we’ll have to work around the supermarket then. So, how do you shop Mr. Zimmerman.” Eric suddenly had the urge to poke jack’s nose but suppressed it”

“I guess I’ll show you after tea then” A genuine smile shown on Jack’s face this time and it seemed he finally felt understood. 

\---

When Jack took Eric to his room he was scared before he remembered how meticulously clean his room always was. He ended up having a lot of free time on his hands for obvious reasons. But when Eric walked in his room he was once again scared shitless because if he was going to “shop” with Eric he had to show him the “command center”.

The “command center” was Jack’s way into the outside world and more importantly school. An excess of tangled cords and two over the top giant monitors with mac programing. The thing was he wanted Eric to see it some how, to see how he lived. So he had Eric sit down and grabbed an abandoned chair from the corner. 

Eric looked like he wanted to touch everything and nothing at the same time. He breathlessly said “Wow” and looked up at Jack. He looked so small in that chair. 

“Well this is it I guess” Jack’s weary smile returned “This is how I do everything you do on the outside that I do in my world”

Jack started at Eric’s ringing laughter and looked at him “Is that what you call it. Jack’s world” He clutched his side and Jack just basked in the radiance of it all. And he smiled with Eric too, even chuckling a bit.

“I guess so, I guess that is what I call it in my head at least” 

Eric composed himself. “Well let’s get back to the point. Show me how it’s done”

They spent a while with Jack showing him how he worked on school projects and ordered food. How he talked to people anonymously online and what documentaries he watched. And they seemed to click so well even from afar. Alicia came to the door and stopped a while admiring it all before ushering the boys to breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see what I can make happen next. Hopfully it will be a bit more entertaining and less about how the sun exists.


	4. The Zimmermans and Bitty have Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smut warning*
> 
> Sorry this chapter is short. I hade more planned for this chapter but I decided I would split it into two parts. Comments and criticism is greatly apreciated. ENJOY!

Breakfast was going to be really awkward. Eric had been at the Zimmerman house for about a week but had really only spent time with Jack. He hadn’t been there long and Eric already felt like he at least wasn’t in a stranger's home. Then again he was headed to breakfast and he had no idea where the dining room was or even if they ate in the dining room. Bob and Alicia had been very busy as of late with work and Jack and Eric had been eating in Eric’s room. 

Alicia guided Eric to through the kitchen and into a open room containing one of the largest tables Eric had ever seen. They continued to walk along and entered a smaller room that had a much more modest table, circular, with only five chairs. 

The food was already set out but looked mediocre in Eric’s eyes. He was used to huge southern breakfasts where you could get three serving without anyone batting an eyelash. It did make sense though. Jack seemed like a health freak and seeing that he couldn't of been influenced by a nutritionist he must of gotten his (assumably) sensible diet from somewhere. Why not his parents? Bob seemed like a person who would eat anything put in front of him and claim it to be delicious. Alicia seemed like a person who would want to read the recipe for a meal off of a heath food blog (with no less than four stars). And Jack seemed like a calorie counter, a protein tracker, and a supplement taker. Eric on the other hand was none of these things. 

They all started to dig in, Alicia spooning fruit salad on his plate, no questions asked. This was followed by hash browns, sausage and two pieces of french toast. Eric noticed that Alicia was having the same with less, and Bob with more, but Jack was only having a bowl of oatmeal and two granola bars. It seemed that Eric’s assumptions about their eating habits were almost spot on. He had gotten into the habit of reading people's tastes after years of baking.

This was when it got awkward. Alicia had finally run out of words and it was dead silent. After what seemed like hours Bob spoke up “You know you don’t really look like an Eric”

Alicia smacked him on the arm “Honey don’t be rude he’s a guest” 

Eric laughed “No it’s really fine. In fact my old team called me Bitty mostly”

“Oooohhh I like that! It’s settled then, you will now be called Bitty in the Zimmerman household” Alicia continued to gush over Bitty but still managed to catch Jack’s eye roll. “Don’t roll your eyes at me mister, my house my rules”

After this, the banter continued but all Bitty could notice was Jack’s eyes. His pools of blue were captivating and lit up when he smiled. It was all Bitty could do but stare. His jawline was the same. You just had to look at it. It was almost impossible not to. Your eyes had to drift to his lips. To wonder what it would be like to kiss them. Soft and light like buttercream. Rubbing your thumb across his cheek then kissing it.

Bitty blamed the oatmeal for this. There was a smudge of it stuck to Jack’s upper lip and it was pleasantly distracting. Bitty wanted to lick it off and kiss him purple. Why he wanted to do this to an almost complete stranger Bitty couldn’t tell you. But what he could tell you is that he wanted it and he wanted it badly.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bitty was staring at him and Jack could feel it. He became so self conscious all he could do is focus on what his Mother was saying. Yet he couldn’t tell you one thing she was saying. All he could really focus on was Bitty’s eyes boring into his head. What was he looking at Jack for? Did he do something wrong? Was there something on his face?

He decided he had to turn and face Bitty. Bitty was sitting across from him and he knew the minute he turned to face him he would at least have a better idea of what was so captivating about him today. But, when he turned he saw Bitty acting normally. Eating his french toast and laughing with Jack’s parents. 

That was when Jack saw it. That’s when it happened. Bitty turned to Jack and for a split second looked down at his lips. And while making full eye contact licked syrup off his lips. It was all very subtle but Jack couldn’t help but turn beet red. 

Of course his parents hadn’t noticed any of this and continued to talk to Bitty about his apple turnover. Jack was amazed how Bitty could act so natural after doing something so blatantly sexual right under his parents noses. How he could recover fast and stab a strawberry with his fork. Take the fork to his lips and… crisse. Jack was wrapped around Bitty’s finger. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack had college work to do so the rest of the day wasn’t as eventful as breakfast. Bitty got into the kitchen and showed Alicia how to bake the apple turnover they had talked about. They ended up eating it for dinner and Bob gushed over it for about an hour. But Jack didn’t touch it because he was “behind on school work” and suspiciously absent from dinner. 

Jack checked up on Bitty before going to bed but other than that he hadn’t really spoken to Bitty since breakfast. Bitty didn’t recall saying anything rude but then again maybe Jack had caught him staring. No, not staring, gawking. It was bound to happen eventually. A gay boy entering the house of a greek god. It seemed that even though Jack stayed inside he was still quite buff. He must of done a ton of crunches to keep up the tone abs Bitty had only peeked by chance. 

Bitty shrugged this all off and decided to hit the hay. He would probably have early morning tea with Jack and for once he didn’t want to feel drowsy all day. He opted for only boxers and his favorite green pullover. Then he went to bed

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack was having trouble falling asleep when he looked over and saw Bitty sitting in his computer chair. He could only see his legs and feet but that was enough to tell that it was him. His feet were arched and barely hit the ground. His toe nails were painted dark green and Jack saw Bitty’s leg shift up the arch of his foot on the edge of the chair (presumably). 

“Bitty what are you doing in here? Do you need something?” Jack smiled but was scared of seeing Bitty this late at night. Why was he in here? Then again how could he know that Jack was freaking out inside because of this mornings incident at breakfast. 

“Just you hun” Jack froze, still on his back. 

Bitty used his hand, braced on the desk, to spin the chair around. His fingernails were painted the same color as his toes except the ring fingers which had green glitter on them. But, that’s not what Jack was looking at because Bitty was only in white boxers that were covered in little green pine trees. His other hand was up on his chin and he had his pointer and middle finger resting on his bottom lip. 

Jack wanted to say something but his mouth was dry. Glued shut. Bitty shifted his weight and began to stand up from the chair. Walking slowly, so slowly, Bitty padded over the wood floor over to Jack’s bed. Bitty pressed his hand into the mattress right next to Jack’s shoulder and began to straddle him. Jack was still frozen but his body was buzzing. He was both excited and dismayed. Bitty looked so sexy and all Jack wanted to do was lean up and kiss him. So he did

He propped himself up and leaned into Bitty pressing his lips to his. It felt so good. And his lips were so soft. And Jack felt so alive. Bitty slipped his tongue into his mouth and Jack moaned. The kiss deepened and deepened and all Jack could do was taste Bitty’s lips. Bitty broke the kiss and moved down behind his ear. Kissing down his jawline and neck finally clamping down near his collarbone. He had to be leaving a mark but Jack just let it happen. He let Bitty take complete control. He would let him do whatever he wanted as long as he was here with him. 

Bitty pulled at the hem of Jack’s shirt looking at him for permission. Jack nodded. Bitty began to leave marks down Jack’s chest. He licked Jack’s abs and teased his niples. Circled them with his tongue making Jack whine, needing more. Then he got lower pulling at Jack’s waistband, again looking up for permission. Jack nodded and Bitty pulled his boxers down.

Jack’s erection popped up but Bitty was coy and ignored it instead sucking bruises on Jack’s thighs. He moved towards Jack’s happy trail and began to trail kisses towards the base of Jack’s shaft. Then Bitty looked up at Jack, parted his lips and Jack woke up.

When Jack woke up he was breathing heavy and could feel how sticky his boxers were. His only choice was to walk shamefully to the bathroom adjoining his room and wash up. He got a washcloth and wiped himself down. He grabbed a clean pair of boxers and pulled them up, balling up the old ones and putting them deep (,deep) in the hamper. 

He turned on the faucet and cupped water into his hands, splashing it onto his face. He braced himself on the edge of the sink and looked himself in the eye. He was totally fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh heh tea's gunna be awkaward. 
> 
> Also I don't think this is really a thing, but at my school it is semi popular to get moring tea before class. (im not british -_-) So if you were wondering that is why I use it so much. It is a really great way for me to add more one on one Bitty & Jack diolog so I just do it when I feel they need a heart to heart. But, it should be assumed they do this almost every morning. 
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think of the chapter. Too much?


	5. Jack's Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a modivation stuggle for sure. Sorry if you needed an update yesterday. Anyway, like always, comments and positive criticism are apreciated. ENJOY!

When Bitty woke up he noticed something was different. At first he couldn’t place it but once he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes he noticed that Jack wasn’t at the table. Normally he wouldn’t expect Jack to be there but they had gotten a shipment of tea and were planning on having it this morning because it was supposed to be nice out. 

Bitty looked out the window and noticed that the sun was just peeking over the clouds. Maybe that explained it, clouds. They wanted to have tea on the porch. When Bitty looked down below Jack wasn’t already on the porch either. He really doubted that Jack had forgotten. It’s not like he had much else to do. It’s not like he had places to be or other friends to spend time with. 

Bitty got dressed. It had turned out to be a little chilly today despite the forecast and Bitty was ready to curl up and read. Especially if he wasn’t going to be seeing any of Jack today. This had happened before. Jack had’t really felt up to the day and had just stayed in bed all day. Bitty had to make due and spent most of the day baking. He had made mini pies and despite Bob out of town and Alicia stuck in her office, they had disappeared by the time Bitty was ready for bed. 

He read until 8 and then decided to visit Jack. The book was a little dull and there seemed to be a lull in the story. Not only that be he wanted to talk to him. He oddly missed him and wanted to see what could be so important Jack would rather do it than spend time with him.

When he walked in Jack’s room he knew something was wrong right away. He was sitting up in bed and reading a historical fiction with a book light. The room was a little dark because the curtains were drawn shut. The problem was Jack looked exhausted and torn apart. His hair was messy and there were dark circles under his eyes. Not to mention they had bags and were bloodshot (apparently from eye strain). He had bulky headphones on that seemed to be blasting on high. Bitty could hear a bit of feedback audio all the way from the door. 

Bitty knocked lightly on the door frame with his knuckle but, Jack didn’t hear. So the knocked louder and Jack jumped, pulling his headphones off quickly. He looked caught off guard and terrified. This was a reaction Bitty had never seen from Jack. Even when Bitty first moved in Jack had just seemed perturbed and bothered. He thought they had gotten past that but maybe not. Bitty had been spending a lot of time with Jack’s parents but, Jack didn’t seem like he would mind that too much.

“Jack are you feeling okay? You look terrible” Bitty began to walk towards Jack. “No offence” Bitty grabbed the desk chair and pulled it closer to Jack’s bed. As he plopped down Jack’s eyes grew wide and the amount of awkward anxiousness on his face visibly doubled, along with the pink in his cheeks. 

Then Jack seemed to snap out of it and looked down at his book. “I guess I didn’t get enough sleep” he paused. “Maybe I’m coming down with something too.”  
Bitty smiled at that, deciding to ignore Jack’s constant effort to avoid eye contact. “Look’s like I’m making chicken noodle soup today!”

Bitty tried to make conversation after that but it didn’t flow well. Jack had trouble focusing on what Bitty was saying and didn’t say much. Not to mention he kept looking anywhere but Bitty. So Bitty decided to give him some space and go start on the soup. Before he left he ran a washcloth under hot water and folded it, placing it on Jack’s forehead. 

\---

Jack could not look at Bitty. He could not look at his eyes. He could not look at his lips. Everytime he did he thought of when Bitty… well you know, almost did the deed. Sure it was only a dream but it felt so real to Jack. All he wanted to do was talk about it. To vent it all and get it out of his system. But who could he talk to but the one person he could not talk to. 

More than anything Jack wished things could go back to normal. He wanted to be able to look at Bitty as more than a scene from a naughty dream. He wanted to go back to looking at Bitty like the object of his affections. Like someone who understood him. Like someone who he could always be honest with. 

What made things worse was this lack of communication with Bitty had triggered something more. At first he just didn’t want to face Bitty but staying in bed with all these things on his mind drained him. He didn’t want to get out of bed, especially when Bitty made it so hard too. Not only was the one Jack didn’t want to face but he was the one taking care of Jack so he didn’t have to take care of himself. 

He turned towards the wall, face to face with a photo of himself on the ice. That picture used to make him happy. It used to remind him of when he felt the most grounded, the most like himself. But, it didn’t do that anymore. It had been so long since the lake was frozen enough to skate on and maybe his priorities had shifted. Skating used to be his whole life. Now his life was limited to his home and now Bitty. 

He heard a coffee cup being set on his dresser and rolled over. It was Bitty. Beautiful Bitty. 

“Jack you still look sick, you should get nap” It had been around a week since the dream and at the moment he accepted his feelings he was once again able to look at Bitty. See the worry on his face.

“I think I’m actually feeling a bit better” Jack smiled for the first time in days. 

\---

Bitty was worried up until Jack said he was getting better. It was like a burden off his shoulders. Not because he had been nursing him, but because he missed him and was so worried. His worry consumed him and all his thoughts. When day three of this “sickness” hit Bitty suspected depression. When he walked in on Jack crying he was positive it was depression. 

Despite this Bitty still gave him space. He wanted Jack to come to him on his own. He didn’t want to impose and makes things worse. But, he couldn't stay away, he couldn't help using his former ignorance as an excuse to see him. To see how he was doing. To see how he could help without actually helping. The truth was Bitty didn’t know what to do. 

Now Bitty was relieved. He knew that even if Jack was as happy as he used to be, he was still improving. He was feeling better. He had looked Bitty in the eyes, unafraid to reveal what was behind them. Even if Bitty wasn’t done worrying he could now be reassured by that simple statement. Even if it was complete bull shit. Something in Bitty told him it wasn’t. 

It was getting late and Bitty could see the moon high in the sky, reaching just over the trees. So he got into bed. He was wearing sweats anyway. After staying in this house out side of Jack’s orbit he had gotten too lazy for composing his outfits. He had come to love the oversized warm cloths he had ordered for this trip. He hadn’t meant to get a size too big, but he was glad for it. Something about it was oddly comforting. 

\--- 

He hadn’t realized he dozed off until he heard footsteps. It was Jack, just inside his room, frozen. Bitty sat up and looked at the tears in Jack’s eyes, still bloodshot and baggy. So Bitty got up and walked towards him. It seemed like ages until he managed to make it to Jack, tears now rolling down his cheeks. 

When Bitty got close (so close) he hesitated. But he moved his hand up to Jack’s cheek and with his thumb wiped the tears from his face. And before Jack could even think about what he was doing he wrapped his arms around Bitty and hugged him close. And he never wanted to let go. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. To feel this secure all the time. 

And Bitty felt strong. So glad he could protect this boy. That he would always be safe in this home. Bitty had to push thoughts of having to leave out of his mind. All he wanted to do was continue to have this boy in his arms and enjoy it while it lasted. 

And then the moment was over. They broke apart after what seemed like only seconds but, which was much longer. Then Bitty looked up at Jack and saw that he didn’t want it to end either. So Bitty grabbed Jack’s hand, much bigger than his own, and pulled him over to his bed. And they were in each other's arms until the sun rises over the trees and reality hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of this chapter again. I just wanted to get it out there even if that ment cutting cornners. Hopefuly I"ll have plenty of time to write this weekend and can do longer chapters. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	6. Bitty's Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I havent posted in a few days. Some things came up and I couldn't write at all. But, I thought of ideas for the next few chapters so maybe they'll come out faster. This chaper is very short, but it felt strange that I hadn't posted in so long. So here it is. As always comments and criticism are apreciated. ENJOY!

When Jack woke up he realized he had made a huge mistake. Bitty was still wrapped in his arms, fast asleep. He looked so peaceful as he layed there. His eyelashes left a warm shadow. It wasn’t noticeable except from this close. You could see the freckles on his shoulders fading as the summer turned to fall. 

Jack wanted it all and that was bad for one reason, Bitty wouldn’t be here for long. He knew Bitty would leave for thanksgiving and christmas. That he would form his own spring break. And that Jack wouldn’t be able to come with him. And after all those breaks… Bitty would leave for good. He’s go to his first year at Samwell and leave Jack behind. Sure, maybe they’d call or text for a while, but it would fade as Bitty moved into his new life. 

Even if Jack and Bitty did realise they wanted to be together, what then? Would Bitty be able to give up his freedom. To stay in a house with Jack, maybe forever. Jack wouldn’t let that happen. He would never be enough for him. He couldn’t let Bitty sit inside for years dreaming of the life he gave up. It was time to move away before Bitty did.

So he got up carefully, climbed over Bitty and creeped out of the room. 

\---

When Bitty woke up he realized that Jack was gone. He could feel the emptiness before he even opened his eyes. Somehow he could tell that Jack hadn’t just gotten up but, had left him. That Jack had tossed him aside and chalked up all of what happened to a mistake. They probably wouldn’t even talk about it. Hell, Jack would probably pout in his room all day. 

Bitty wrapped the blanket around him. He didn’t want to move and lose the moment. The pillow smelled like Jack. Even Bitty’s sweatshirt smelled like Jack. And at that moment that’s all he wanted. Even if he knew it wouldn’t end well, that he would have to leave. He wanted Jack. 

And then he let that thought go. He let it drift off into discarded ideas, forgotten memories, old baggage. Shrugging it off his shoulders like it wasn't a revelation. Like it didn’t change the dynamic of his life here. Like if he buried it deep inside himself it would go away. And some of it did but a little was still there and would stay there. 

He got dressed, even shoes this time. He was tired of lounging around. Jack’s parents were out today so Bitty was prepared to bake his feelings away. Making many pies, and cookies and anything that popped into this head. Lemon squares, brownies, bread (rye and white), anything he wanted. The Zimmerman's pantry seemed to go on for an eternity and more.

And then Bitty had baked all he could. He just sat down on the floor. Flour everywhere, his face covered in various batters and doughs. He just stared at his shoes and wondered why he felt so bad. Like he’d lost something. He had only been at the Zimmerman house for about a month now and he was already ruining it for himself. 

All he wanted to do was cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry this is so short. I hope you liked this peek anyway.


	7. Jack and Bitty have a Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is about to be a emotional rollercoster, so be prepared. Please comment and give positve criticism if you want! ENJOY!

When Bitty got up he took a deep breath. He had been on the kitchen floor for almost thirty minutes just staring into space. The thing was that had made him feel so much better than all the baking had. He had just sorted his thoughts out and now he needed a break.

Even though this house was huge and a boy in his 20’s lived there it was almost void of all mindless entertainment. The Zimmerman’s didn’t even have cable, only netflix, which Bitty didn’t know how to set up. There wasn’t even a ps4 or xbox. So he grabbed his phone and earbuds and put on only the most upbeat of Beyonce songs. And then he walked. It was much too cold to go outside but Bitty managed to put himself into a rhythm.

At first he just walked up and down the stairs but, then he got bored. So he explored the mid floor, finding only several guest bedrooms, the kitchen, the pantry, the dining room, the eating room, the living room, the study and the rec room. He went into the basement. Of course the basement was finished. The carpet was nice and fluffy ad it was a large open space. Three doors, a bathroom, a gym and a home movie theatre. 

Bitty sat down in that movie theatre. He enjoyed the plush red seats and the smell of popcorn. He pretended he was somewhere else, someone else. Someone who wasn’t destined for heartbreak. Someone who wasn’t scared to go college. Someone who could be proud of who he was without the risk of getting kicked out of his own house, without getting bullied and without feeling guilty. But, eventually he had to get up and move about once again. 

Bitty skipped his floor and there was only one more place to go, the attic. Bitty had noticed the string hanging down from the ceiling with in his first week. He was just too polite to ask about it. But, now he was filled with and apathy that overshadowed his politeness. So he pulled the string and a trap door fell down. It had a folding ladder attached and a voice inside Bitty told him to leave it alone. But he didn’t. He unfolded the latter and went in.

\---

The attic was filled with labeled boxes on one side and suitcases, chests and giant piles of junk on the other. It was like someone was organizing the attic and then gave up. Bitty decided to finish it. 

He started on a dresses laid out in a pile, deciding to ignore the antique furniture. Whoever started this job must of sorted them out but never hung them up. Bitty looked for hangers and found a package of them on top of a organized box stack. He ripped it open and started hanging them on an almost empty rack. He laughed a bit as he saw some of, perhaps Alicia’s, interesting dress choices. 

Then he was done, once again just looking for something to distract him from Jack. But, this might be the worse place to be distance himself from Jack because Jack was everywhere. Bitty could see lots of things that had to be his. More history books shelved, that apparently overflowed from his room. Not to mention the copious amounts of memorabilia, a surprising amount from the American civil war. 

There were other things that surprised Bitty. A box labeled “Jack’s Scouts Stuff” made Bitty so curious that he just had to open it. An old banet guided him as he slid it through the carefully placed tape that held the box lid together. Inside were badges, uniforms and other miscellaneous items that must of been affiliated with the “Scouts”. Several dated guide books littered with bookmarks and sticky notes made Bitty smile. Jack seemed to put everything he had into something or nothing at all. 

He picked up a monogrammed “Jack” pocket knife and underneath saw whittlings. They were breathtaking, a slice of pine with rings still viable had a beautiful carving of Jack’s mother in it. It was wonderful and wonderfully intricate. The grooves ranging from deep to shallow as must of Jack saw his mother, must still see his mother. Bitty ran his hand across it enjoying the feeling of the grooves. 

There were other simple ones, a stick figure forest, some mountains, a hokey player, but Bitty liked the one of Jack’s mother the most. It looked like it had so much more to it than the others. Like Jack had seen his mother in movement when he had done it, not even needing to sketch it. Just to feel it. 

He carefully packed the box and was about to put a tiny wood sculpture of a person back into it when he changed his mind. The small smooth thing wouldn’t be missed, it was barely the size of an acorn. He slipped it into his pocket, found the tape and closed the box up as carefully as it had been done before. 

Bitty walked through the stacks of boxes looking for other treasures. He found some other things Jack’s old crib with a baby toys in it. A box filled with, apparently every art project he had made in elementary school. Some of it was falling apart and the bottom of the box was littered with macaroni. And then Bitty saw a box labeled Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. 

When he opened it somethings started to make sense, a tabloid of some sort reading “Jack Zimmerman No Longer Projected for NHL Draft and Rehab Crisis pg8”. Bitty frowned. He hadn’t known about any rehab. All he had known was that Jack had stopped playing for some reason, he thought the reason was his Agoraphobia.

Bitty turned to page 8 and his heart sank. Pictures of him coming out of the hospital, and going home, and entering rehab. Lines about how his family giving no comment made his addiction more suspicious. Rumors about Kent Parson providing the drugs. Rumors about Kent Parson drugging Jack. Rumors about Jack drugging himself as a publicity stunt. 

But, Bitty kept reading and reading. The box wasn’t just a box. It was three and two were completely filled with magazines and newspapers with his overdose plastered all over them insensitively. There was even a stack of printed out internet articles, at least 50, all in color. Most of everything had things highlighted and underlined.

When Bitty got to the end of the second box and opened the third he found something much more tragic than all the things he had found previously. It was filled with pictures of happy Jack and trophies and medals he had won on his way to the fall. Except they were all damaged, trophies in pieces, dented and mangles meddles, a small box of ripped picture pieces… an empty pill bottle. And at the end of all of it was a journal. 

Before Bitty could open it he heard someone coming up the stair and quickly tried to stuff all the scattered papers back in the boxes. 

“So you’ve found out then” Jack looked so broken “I guess you know how crazy I am now don’t you” His hands were in fists, knuckles turning white and his tone was dark with a gruff in his voice. 

\--- 

When Jack saw Bitty there he knew it was over and he knew that was good. He knew that it was what was best. That that had to happen for them to be able to have a clean break. Jack knew what would happen next. Bitty would be fake until winter break when he could re enroll at Samwell for the second semester. He would avoid Jack at all costs until he could be free of him. Free from a newfound burden. Jack’s thoughts tangled into a spiral worse and worse. More and more unattached from the truth. The two standing there in silence for seconds that felt like hours only filled with Jack’s thoughts… until they were interrupted by Bitty.

Bitty spoke so softly then “Jack no” He slowly stood up and started walking towards Jack and as he did a sad smile formed on his face, tears in his eyes. Everything was falling into slow motion. Jack following Bitty with his eyes preparing for the end, trying to let go. 

And so Jack started stepping back so gather these seconds (and extend the good) as Bitty went forward until Jack was almost at the hole the trap door left and he had to stop. He had to stop. He had to let himself fall down to the murky deep. Just like he had before. Like always did. 

Bitty didn’t have to stop though. In fact he just kept going until he was nose to nose with jack and wrapped his arms around him. And then Jack wasn’t falling. He was rising. Filling with relief and happiness that wanted to spill out of him. That even if the fall was after this, this moment would make standing at the edge all worth it. 

And Bitty? Well, Bitty just smiled into Jack’s chest and cried. He cried for all the happy to come and all the sad in the past. He cried because he wanted Jack and he wanted Jack to be happy. Because he wanted to be happy with Jack and to protect him from the world. To be Jack’s new home. So Jack could go and breathe the fresh air outside of his perimeter. And he would feel safe because Bitty was there. Bitty wanted all this and put all his love and hope into it.

“Jack I am so glad you are alive” Bitty took in a few shaky breaths trying not to cry and failing. “I am so glad you fought through so I could meet you” and that was all that needed to be said really.

As Jack wrapped his arms around Bitty tears fell down his face. They stood like that for a while, a long while. Until Bitty broke the hug, grasping Jack’s hands in his, got up on his toes and kissed Jack’s cheek lightly. He let go of his hands and went down the latter, leaving Jack speechless and full of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T worry it's not the end. There's still around 6 chapters and maybe a second part. I've been considering making this a 2 parter. Let me know farther on if you would more after the last chapter. Thanks for reading!


	8. Together Perhaps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to write. I wanted it to be longer. I've outlined the rest of this fic in larger chunks so the chapters will be longer but come out maybe once or twice a week. As always comment and give me any positve criticism you may have! ENJOY!

Jack immediately wanted to chase after Bitty. He wanted to ask so many questions. He wanted to pick Bitty’s brain. He wanted to kiss Bitty most of all. Instead of all that Jack just went back to his room and started on homework. The problem was that he couldn’t focus at all. The problem was he was already ahead on his work. The problem was his motivation had been clouded by a ray of sunshine. 

He clicked his pen over and over to an unknown beat. His leg was bouncing and his brows creased. Jack was too lost in his thoughts to notice this. Thinking about Bitty’s eyes. His hair. How much Bitty cared for him. How Jack wanted to shove all his worries about Bitty leaving out of his mind. How Jack knew Bitty was the only thing that would ever make him want to go outside. 

This realization made Jack shiver. He had never even considered going outside his home ever since his overdose. But, now his overdose had caused Bitty to take precedence in Jack’s heart. His infatuation for Bitty overshadowing his logical brain. 

Bitty had become even more important than his fear of the world. Of what people knew and didn’t. Of how public his life had been and how it might be that way again. Of seeing… old friends. 

He decided to skype Farah, thinking of how dependent he used to be on her. How he couldn’t last a week without meeting with her. She helped him out the back door. Off the back porch. Past the lake. Into the forest where anything could happen. His brain begged her to not answer. His brain begged himself to hang up. He trekked forward anyway. She answered anyway.

“Jack what’s wrong!” Farah said, her face painted with frantic worry. It didn’t surprise him. It had been about 4 months since they’d talked, 7 since their last home visit. Farah had said that Jack was stuck in his therapy and she couldn’t do anything more for him until he decided himself he wanted to move past his fear. So Jack stayed in one place, until now. Until Bitty.

“Nothing… I guess I just need your help with the next step.” Jack’s face was stone and certain. “I’m ready.”

Instead of second guessing Jack, Farah went right into it. A smile blooming on her face. And then he got his answer. 

\---

Jack was stuck on the front porch. Just about to step out onto his driveway. Looking out at the street. He wanted so badly to make a step. To break through the invisible perimeter and move. But his breath got short and he could only hear the loud sounds of the outside. The Zimmerman’s lived on a road that was fairly void of traffic, but all Jack could hear was the motter of the lone car driving by. It looked blurry and sweat was pouring down his face. His stomach turned and he felt like his whole body was alive, pricking with needles, imaginary ants. He was hot and dizzy and felt like he was dying. 

Then everything in his head started pounding and his vision faded to black as he grasped at the empty air. Reaching, reaching and reaching. He could only self pity, so broken he couldn’t even take a step. 

The last thing he felt before entering the dream state was his heel slipping off the bottom step and landing on the ground. 

And then he was there, walking around in his own head. Apart from the world yet, still in it. Seeing everything from the ground and above. His body lying there alone and limp, one foot off the porch hitting the grass oh so green. Not even a foot, only his heel. The colors were coming out at him, all his edges blurry, until he floated down from the sky landing on the steps. Seeing his own body in clear and abhorrent detail. Like seeing someone’s skin through a macro lens, pores like chasms. 

So Jack looked away, at the road, at the grass, at his foot. He wanted to pull it back up. Back onto the safety of the porch. Something about him not being able to protect himself, even just from the horrors of his front lawn made him want to weep. 

He couldn’t go through this world on his own. He couldn’t go through this world with his affection. His infatuation. His hope. He could only make it off the porch if his brain surged when he needed it to be working the least, not over working. And so Jack thought all of this and did weep. His tears like air floating from where rain came, turning into translucent clouds. 

This was when Jack realised this world was beautiful. He wasn’t in the now, he was somewhere else floating and there was nothing to fear. His feet didn’t have to be tucked on the last step. His palm didn’t need to be resting on his chin. He could walk out into the field next door. 

Though the brush was dead in the now in Jack’s world it was alive. The perfect place to take a nap. To look at the glass clouds and the bright blue sky. To see everything glowing gold in tunnel vision. And so he walked there and did just that. He was on a red checkered picnic blanket just like in the movies, looking at the sky, being in peace. Best of all Bitty was there. He was right next to him, Jack knew this even though he hadn’t turned his head to check. He could feel Bitty’s glow, warmth. So he turned.

Bitty’s face was not glowing. Not gold like his tunnel vision. Not the easy smile he wanted to see. Bitty’s face only showed pure terror. His eyebrows were creased and arched upward. His eyes wide and he was yelling and yelling and yelling. Jack could see the tears rolling down his face. Then Jack was yelling back, but only whispering. Bitty Bitty Bitty. 

His eyes shot open

\---

When Bitty had returned to Jack’s room he had planned to give him a keepsake. A promise but, Jack was already gone by then. It had taken Bitty so long to find, buried deep within the confines of his enormous room. 

At first Bitty didn’t panic, he just looked. The panic had come in as he entered each new room with no Jack to be seen. Each time he opened a door he had to devote more of his brain to breathing. Who know’s what Jack could be thinking. For goodness sake Bitty didn’t even know if he swung that way. And then he went out the front door. Jack was lying there so peacefully, like he was dead. 

Bitty ran then and grabbed his face and shook Jack’s shoulders over and over. Tears fell down his face and he yelled and yelled and yelled. “NO NO JACK DEAR GOD NO!” over and over and over. Jack, Jack, Jack. Until he cleared his mind and thought to check his breathing. To put his ear to Jack’s lips. Jack was alive, breathing. 

When Bitty sat up Jack’s eyes were open.

\---

Bitty was looking straight into Jack’s eyes when he woke up, his face just as distressed as it had been in his dream. A single tear rolled down Jack’s cheek and all he thought to do was lean up and kiss Bitty. Before he could thought, Bitty engulfed him in the biggest hug he had ever experienced. Bitty was sobbing and smiling and practically laying on top of Jack, all of him except his legs, burying his face in Jack’s neck. Jack slowly wrapped his arms around Bitty too, hooking his foot around Bitty’s legs. Jack positioned Bitty completely on top of himself. 

When Bitty was done crying he lifted his head up and looked into Jack’s eyes. “Jack what happened” Bitty wiped a tear. 

This was when Jack realised one of his heels was still touching the grass below the porch. Before he could think better of it he jerked his leg up. Bitty fell off of him and they both moved to the top step, both blushing profusely. 

How would Jack even begin to explain anything. He couldn’t very well say that he had been inspired by his affections for Bitty too try to go outside of his perimeter. He could say he had fallen, but that wouldn’t explain his leg jerk. Spasm? Bitty was too smart to buy that. He wasn’t used to this kind of conversation. He was simply out of practice explaining his actions, anxiety related or otherwise.

Jack took a deep breath and opened his mouth and then closed it it. Bitty noticed the worry in his eyes and didn’t want him to answer for only a moment. Bitty knew full well that his panic at Jack’s condition could only we quenched by an explanation and a damn good one. Jack only looked down at his hand and twiddled his thumbs. Patience Eric. 

Bitty placed a hand on Jack’s knee and Jack’s eyes instantly were drawn to it. Bitty removed it and blushed it. 

“Jack you know you can tell me anything.” 

Jack looked Bitty in the eyes then, grieved expression in tow. He licked his lips. “I guess I was trying to” he paused and looked down, “go out of my comfort zone”. He looked back up at Bitty, blue eyes boring into Bitty’s soul, and whispered “But for a specific reason”

Realization flooded into Bitty’s face and before he could reply Jack cut in. 

“Bitty, can I take you somewhere.”

\---

The wood’s behind Jack’s house were no minimum suburban cluster of trees. It had to be at least 50 acres of forest. And as they walked on poorly weed wacked trails and deer paths, Bitty was getting more and more time to piece things together. 

Jack clearly had attempted to go outside of his perimeter after having some sort of breakthrough. The part Bitty couldn’t wrap his head around was why Bitty had caused it, if he had caused it at all. He hated to think that he was just being narcissistic and the attempted escape of sorts had nothing to do with him at all. He wondered what Jack felt towards him. Bitty barely knew what he felt towards himself. He did know he liked Jack though. He LIKED Jack that is, maybe even loved him. 

The thing was Bitty had an easy habit of being infatuated. His affections were rarely (really never) returned because of being stuck in the closet in a homophobic environment most of his life. His life until now. He would see all the kids having summer flings and wanted to have some romance for himself. So his brain would make it for him. Make him imagine the boy closest to him had feelings he didn’t. Even though he would tell himself that he was making it up it still hurt when the boy he liked ended up going out with a girl. 

Even worse once Bitty had caught his crush in a utility closet with another boy. Yes they were literally two gay guys in the closet. Bitty might had found it amusing if he wasn’t so devastated. 

The thing was Bitty somehow knew that Jack wasn’t like any of those crushes. Bitty wasn’t even sure that he could classify Jack as only a crush. It seemed to go so much deeper than that. Jack’s eyes hit his heart. Jack’s touch made him shiver. And Jack’s lips, well they simply drove him mad. Yes, Jack was his own category entirely. 

\---

Jack kept looking back at Bitty as he led him through the forest. The path was sloppy, but that hadn’t seemed to matter before now because Jack was the only one with enough time to go wandering through the forest anyway. But, Bitty walked through the forest with ese. Like he had been doing it all his life and he was so graceful. Never tripping. Never even looking down. Like a sixth sense. Beautiful. 

The most peculiar thing was the air around Bitty had turned from dismay and worry to something comparable to a light breeze. Pleasant, cool and assured. Whenever Jack looked at Bitty he smiled at him, gentle and kind. Jack wanted so badly to reach back and hold Bitty’s hand. He almost wished Bitty would fall so he could offer his hand and never let go. 

And then they were there. It had been a wild since Jack had been to the old pavilion. It was covered in ivy and the white paint was chipping. When Bitty saw it he gasped. The pavilion was, to put it simply, beautiful. It was octagon shaped and white. Like something straight out of a fairy tail.

A fallen tree was blocking the steps and Jack helped Bitty over it. His hands lingering. They sat down on the bench lining the edge of the structure.

When they sat down the silence was almost touchable. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, but the mood had silently shifted from the lightness of the walk. This place was obviously special to Jack and he must have something important to say it he took Bitty to the middle of the forest. Then just like that Jack said it. 

“I like you” he looked away immediately and his face was tomato red. His face was etched with pained worry.

“I like you too Jack” Bitty’s chest wanted to explode he was so happy. They both somehow knew this wasn’t a platonic like. Not platonic at all.

You see the difference between Jack and Bitty pertaining to this issue was Bitty thought of present and Jack thought of future. Bitty had begun to think of this place, this house, as a whole new world. A place and time completely separate from the rest of his life. He had entered Jack’s world. 

Jack on the other hand was only thinking of how Bitty would eventually have to leave, for college at the very least. That Bitty would most likely leave for good, leaving Jack’s world as fast he had entered it. His hope was significantly hindered compared to Bitty’s natural optimism. But, at this moment Jack knew he had to think like Bitty for this to work. To become happy at least for a while. Bitty didn’t need to stay to do that, Jack only hoped he would.

“I’m worried it won't work” Jack didn’t realise he had said this until he did. He continued none the less. “You’ll have to leave and that… well that’s more than I can bare”

Bitty sighed and put his hand on Jack’s, they’re hand’s sat between them resting on the bench. He looked from the hands to Jack. “I know this is going to sound like a cop out but can’t we just ignore it.” His smile was sad at best. “I just want to be with you without that looming over us.”

A long silence lingered between them until Jack spoke. 

“Then let’s agree to pretend” Jack said and smiled, maybe not genuinely but well enough. He made a note to ignore the fact Bitty was leaving. To pretend. That made him smile for real.

Bitty laughed happily “Alright then it’s settled. We’re pretending then. Easy as pie” 

Jack giggled at that and then they only talked of normal things. Things that were simple. Until it grew dark outside and they could see the stars through the trees, glowing almost as much as they were. Young and together. 

They walked back to the house hand and hand. And after the day of stress and strife they fell asleep in eachother’s arms, ignoring the future and enjoying each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I just realized how smutty I wrote in prevous chapters and how gushy cute this chapter is. Don't worry we got some more smut comming ;) 
> 
> Sorry for all the spelling and grammer errors. If anyone want's to beta, message me. I might not want to do that but I've been considering it. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr if you want. Fair warning I don't post much and it's kind of crappy.  
> http://anniemiku.tumblr.com


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